Lee Swords Fishing

Let’s start with football...

 

Gary Madine is a mate of mine, he is a polite lad, well mannered and good humored, he can however get a bit daft when he has been talking to Misters Peroni and Carling but no more than many lads his age, the media however is painting him to be some kind of a psychopathic thug. This is wrong. Gary is not a fighter( although he can) Gary is a lover, Gary’s only real vice is female company.

I have seen Gary getting “baited” because of who he is and the standard of girls that throw themselves at him and they do throw themselves at him.

At his age I had just passed through the awkward geeky stage that  accompanied my rampant acne and low self esteem but thanks to a three week dalliance with a  married six foot one inch tall Amazonian woman called Johanna that told me in no uncertain terms that I would never be the best looking lad in the room ( not even if I was alone) I was far from being a complete dog either and this coupled up with my excess of testosterone fueled back, leg, chest, arm, foot, finger, toe, nasal and eyebrow hair as well as an over-sized appendage that she said looked like the arm of a six month old child holding an over ripe peach made me a rather marketable commodity, so if I didn’t shake myself down and sell my own tickets nobody else would, it was a brutal boot camp she put me through but I came out a whole new person.

Anyway I am digressing…

I was from that point onward “good”  with girls but Gary is on a different level altogether, the difference being he makes 10 times my wage and his hair has no Albanian traits  like mine so his head hair isn’t  likely to  piss off and claim asylum on his back, legs, chest, arms, feet, fingers, toes, upper nasal or eyebrows anytime soon …like mine did when I got to 25.

Anyway moving on gain because there is probably a bit too much of a back story building up here the nitty gritty of it is Gary has a lot of money and better than average good looks which results in him getting way more fanjita than even I did at his age and I had more than my fair share if I am honest…Now being the philosophical type, I don’t begrudge him his conquests but this success in life really does piss some people off.

The number of dickhead no-weight lads I have seen trying to “wind him up” is insane, seriously, can a bloke not go out around town without getting screamed at by a bunch of cocks?

I know people say that he should just walk away and that he is supposed to be setting an example…but how do you walk a way from a lad that is in your face screaming ” Wanker , wanker , wanker” at the top of their voice?

Is that proper behavior? Is that how to open a conversation?

Is it bollocks! It is wrong!

For example, the last bloke that I hit came running up to me screaming and shouting with his lips peeled and back fists clenched, there was no thought in what happened next, he was dropped by a single overhand right hook to the jaw before he had any chance of doing the same to me. That is the Law of the jungle.

The one previous to that was a carbon copy… There is a pattern…Some blokes don’t start trouble but they have the means to finish it.

The story that Gary twatted somebody in The Viper Rooms “just” because they said they were a United fan is a ludicrous lie fabricated by an idiot and swallowed by a jury and the 18 month sentence given to him by the Judge is harsh in the extreme for a single punch assault.

Hopefully he will be out in 7-9 months and can resume a successful career in football and stick it to all those bastards that knocked him.

Back to Butterflies

Well, the battle is still on to save my wildflower meadow from development, the clock however is running down.

Too few people are taking the time and making the effort to say “no” and this I fear will allow the Council the opportunity to pass the proposals to build a fire station on what is in reality Greenbelt land setting a very negative precedent for the future of urban green spaces.

I actually fear for Sheffield, it is my opinion that Sheffield Council will not be happy until every last blade of grass is built over so that they can accommodate the ever increasing number of immigrants that are arriving daily to take advantage of the City of Sanctuary status.

Sheffield “town” is for the most part little more than a hovel, the place is dirty and heavily littered.

But none of this matters whilst ever the Council is flooding the place with “voters”

Sheffield will always be a Labour strong hold, probably because we are for the most part utterly disillusioned with the entire political system, Sheffield has been shit on time and again from all directions.

Hence the reason why we Sheffield’ers do not turn out in numbers to vote and also the reason we hold our political representatives in such low esteem, unfortunately this disillusionment with politics and the whole democratic system is the reason why Sheffield tends to scrape the barrel when it comes to representatives, in fact it is said that you could stick a red rosette on a donkey in Sheffield and it would win an election.

So, I suppose we get what we deserve in Sheffield. ..I however am among a minority of very vociferous Sheffield’ers that buck the trend, in fact I can honestly say that I like politics, or more to the point I enjoy raising my concerns about the intellectual discrepancies of our political personalities, I consider them to be pretty dumb to be honest and rarely do they disappoint me in their ineptitude.

This week I decided to e-mail one of my Councillors ( Jack Scott)  to protest at the proposal to build on Bowden Housead Fields, I admit that at the point of writing I had enjoyed the company of a rather fat Snow Grouse, a smaller but nonetheless potent Black Grouse and a brace of extremly well portioned Famous Grouse, I wasn’t drunk but I was very mellow, here is how the e-mail went

Hello,

Are you the member of the council for the environment?

If that is the case can you answer me a simple question, why is Sheffield Council along with the Fire Service planning to build on greenbelt land? 

“Bowden Houstead Fields”

Well, the locals of Handsworth call it greenbelt but it seems that it has now been reclassified without open consultation or consent to “former recreational” land.

Why is this going ahead when there are numerous better sites in the locality which would be less ecologically damaging?

So as head of the “Environment” are you going to step up to the plate and knock this one back, or are you going to bend over and allow the wanton destruction of what is a very rich environment for wildlife?

Now I know the act of doing “something” that the people of Sheffield actually “want” may be a bit of an anathema for a Sheffield Councillor but it would be a vote winner … or are you just a bloke that likes to get his face in the paper without actually doing anything useful or constructive?

You know…a bit of a useless freeloading tool…Like John Mothersole but with a modicum of personality…What does he actually do by the way and who did he blackmail to get his job? 

Anyway I am digressing, as Council member for the environment can you tell me what your feelings are in regards to the decline in British Bumblebees and why you would support the destruction of Bowden Houstead Fields as it is such a superb and rich “Bee” habitat that should rightly be cherished considering their catastrophic decline… then again I very much doubt a Sheffield Councillor would know the difference between a Bumble Bee and Bull Frog so I suppose I am asking the wrong person.

I will not even go into the amount of butterflies that will be out of a home when the bulldozers arrive…Oh, but as Sheffield is a City of Sanctuary, will they be able to claim Asylum and if so where will they be resettled, they wouldn’t fit in down Fir Vale as they have certain cultural differences and do not generally get on with the already established day flying Cinnabar Moths and that being the case I am sure relocating them to Fir Vale would cause conflict.

In all honesty it would be better to leave them where they are

“AND BUILD SOMEWHERE ELSE”

Best regards

Lee Swords

 

I really do not think my ethanol fueled wit amused him at all and is on reflection why I cannot post on Sheffield Forum and have my I.P Address banned by them as well as a few other left-wing political fora because by 8 am the next morning I had received the following reply from an obviously disgruntled Councillor for the Environment.

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Dear Mr Swords,

I find your email needlessly offensive and rude. I will not be responding.

This is a shame as the issues around Greenbelt, bees and wildlife are really important and an area where we are doing more than almost any other council. 

If you wish to meet to discuss these in person then I am more than happy to set this up, but you can’t possibly expect a reasoned response when you’ve been so rude to someone you have never met. 

Best wishes,

Jack

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Now I am never needlessly offensive, by nature I am actually a very polite person as it has always been drilled into me that good manners cost nothing however I do have the capacity to be extremely offensive but if I do go into offensive mode there is generally an underlying reason for it and so before my breakfast was cold I had completed my reply.

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Hello Jack,

I am sorry if you feel that I was being needlessly rude and offensive although I myself struggle to find the offensive and rude part of my e-mail just the mocking satire of truth from a citizen of Sheffield that feels thoroughly let down by the relentless failure of Sheffield City Council to actually do something positive for the City and for its Citizens.

I will from this point onward refrain from the needlessly rude and concentrate on the facts.

Bowden Houstead Field is a small area with high biodiversity, that supports numerous species of flora and fauna, so why is it, when there are numerous brown field sites within a mile radius that this is the chosen site for a fire station.

Why has this been planned on the quiet, with applications going in “post dated” and public notices being put up weeks after the application has gone “live”.

I did go to the Sheffield Star and meet with a reporter called Clare about arranging a meeting with Mary Lea and Ibrar Hussain ( who is or was to the point of this whole debacle going public on both the Planning Committee and the Fire and Rescue Committee…A little bit of conflict there don’t you think?) but alas she seems to have failed in sorting something out.

If you wish to meet with myself and some other locals equally passionate as myself and can bring the Press with you that would be fantastic! Even though it is late in the season and the butterflies and amphibians are gone, I have the pictures and will give you a tour and explain why the entire idea to build here is morally bankrupt.

The next part is not meant to be offensive it is just how it appears to a plebeian such as myself so read it slowly and think about what I am saying.

You are our member of the Sheffield Council for the Environment, you work for the Citizens of Sheffield with “our” interests number one in your heart and mind and I as a Citizens of Sheffield feel that it is not in anyone’s interests to lose valuable Greenbelt assets through the council playing at politics because of the councils ill-thought out decision to become a City of Sanctuary the population of Sheffield has started to grow exponentially, this population will need housing, do not try to destroy and then build on Greenbelt land via the backdoor.

This is what myself and the BHF locals believe is happening, the fire station is simply the key to unlock the whole area for future development, hence the reason we are rude and offensive.

With best regards

Lee Swords

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I haven’t received a reply yet but I will be sending him another e-mail tonight in an attempt to try to firm things up on the meeting front. I feel passionately about the environment and will fight tooth and nail to protect it, we only get pristine environments once and there are scant few of them left especially in Sheffield so why should we quietly follow like sheep  our political representative and allow them to destroy what is left on a whim and without question?

People need to understand that political representatives are there to reflect the wishes of the citizens they represent and not inflict their own will upon them without mandate because that is not democracy and that isn’t what we fought wars over.

Sometime politicians need to be reminded of this fact…

I have added three e-mail addresses of the three Councillors that are most closely connected to this whole sorry issue, Mary Lea is the local Councillor, Jack Scott is the Councillor in charge of the environment and Ibrar Hussain is the Councillor charged with both Planning duties and Fire and Rescue duties, his Facebook page however seems to indicate that his real passion in life is the politics of Pakistan, I would suggest if that is the case he takes up public office in Pakistan instead of England, we English after all pay his “allowances” is it not fair that we have not only his but all Councillors full and unbroken attention?

Anyway…drop them a line if you feel the need to vent a little spleen but please keep it civil…

mary.lea@sheffield.gov.uk

jack.scott@sheffield.gov.uk

ibrar.hussain@sheffield.gov.uk

You can also add your voice to the objectors list, it takes five minutes to register a protest…FOLLOW THE LINK!!!

http://publicaccess.sheffield.gov.uk/online-applications/applicationDetails.do?activeTab=summary&keyVal=MRZU4KNYFY000