Lee Swords Fishing

I don’t know if it was the mention of Paris Hilton abusing a mermaid with a large two ended dildo but the “Trent fever” article seems to have been something of a hit. So I thought I may make a little bit of a series out of it. Examining the mindset, the oddities, the opinions and extremes of those misaligned individuals ( myself included) that love fishing the river Trent.

The biggest bug bear I have whilst out fishing is generally litter, I hate litter with a passion. I just do not understand what makes a person drop litter, do they think it makes them seem dangerous and aloof? Personally I think it makes them look like uneducated wankers with less intelligence than a three day old bottle of milk. It is common knowledge amongst those that know me that I am of the opinion that the world is grotesquely overcrowded and that we could do with losing a few billion people over the next couple of hundred years. Therefore I would bring back the death penalty for litter louts.

Now my opinions on the “death penalty” and “passive genocide” go against the grain with some and have got me into a few arguments over the years but I stand by what I believe and will go so far as to say that I wish that the death penalty could be reintroduced for those amongst us that see fit to leave rubbish in places that I consider to be precious. I must also state that I would reinstate the death penalty for lots of other crimes against humanity as well, crimes such as treason, murder, double dealing, dishonesty, theft,  embezzlement and gross stupidity and being a Labour Prime Minister. The last crime actually bundles most of the previous crimes together and warrants a punishment worse than death but seeing as death is pretty much as harsh as it gets on this mortal coil I would settle for dropping them through a woodchipper on a low speed setting. Feet first.

Anyway back onto the Trent…

 

Do we take too much crap with us? I took this picture early in the season 2012 and was amazed at how much gear these lads were dragging across the field up towards the weir at Collingham. I am not innocent of the crime either. I am as guilty as anyone of carrying the kitchen sink to a swim. I used to console myself with the fact that I could fish for anything that was in front of me at the drop of a hat but who is going to console my wife when I drop dead from a heart attack?

I suppose the life insurance and pension payout would soften the blow a little bit but I am sure she would miss my sheer animal magnetism. A bit.

One thing I touched on in Trent Fever I was me being a Billy no mates type of angler, I am and I make no bones about it. I am a proper loner given a choice and there is a good reason for that. I don’t trust people to not do something stupid so I restrict myself to my own company and the company of those I go with, that way they only have my stupidity to contend with therefore the likelihoods of something going wrong is greatly reduced.

What I wasn’t trying to have a go at was the genuinely social angler that chooses to fish in a small group and enjoy each others company. if you look at the picture above it seems at a glance to be overcrowded but in truth it isn’t Each man has his own little patch and each man is satisfied with his lot.

Therefore it is all good. that is how they fish and that is what makes them happy, if they leave no litter and handle their catch with respect I have no problems with that an totally applaud it as it means that the density of anglers on other stretches is even lower than it would be leaving me even more space to enjoy!

Space and a good bend on the Trent generally equates to a good days fishing in my book, find the bends and find the space and you will generally find a few fish.

You do not need to follow the crowds to get a bend in your rod in fact I would go so far as to say do the opposite and avoid the crowds, that way you are competing with the river and not the river and the bloke in the next peg that is going to do something so stupid at some point it is going to absolutely spoil the whole mood of the day.

I remember a bloke getting in the swim directly above me after he had seen me land a couple of nice fish  and then  ”have a go” because I was casting upriver into what was now his peg!

Oh dear, that did not end well.

But why would somebody want to fish bang on top of a bloke that is already there and enjoying his sport? There is 120 miles of river…is there not enough space for him to find his own fish? Nobody within a mile and this joker gets in the next peg…Cock.

Was it the thought of missing the glory of a big catch?

Is that what drove him to do what he did?

If so he needn’t have bothered, he could have simply brought his catch with him in a bucket and had his picture taken with his prize before getting himself off home in time to watch X factor along with all the rest of the homosexual types.

Not that I am knocking homosexuality, whatever floats your boat is what I say, I just wish a little less television time was given over to the Lilac Mafia because I miss being able to sit down and watch a decent film like Zulu Dawn instead of having to endure countless hours of shit like Strictly Come Dancing, or that Ice skating crap! I hate the whole X factor bollocks and Britain’s got talent shite along with all the rest of the pay as you go phone in your vote (you dummies)  television crap.

Yes television has certainly gone downhill, when I was a kid we had 3 channels that ticked all the boxes unfortunately we no longer have much of the quality viewing that entertained and educated, now we have to settle for 300 channels of shite.

which is ok if you want to buy something off the telly or wish to play roulette at 2am in the morning but it is of little use if you just have a fancy to watch a bit of Hammer Horror with the outside chance of seeing a few boobs.

Anyway that is enough Trent Fever for today…In the next episode of Trent Fever I will explore the “Race for fame”